Call Girl, Book #2, 1st Full Draft – Done!

Now, onto the revising phase of this project. The first full draft totals 60,000+ words @ 256 pages, and I feel great about it. This book has been fun to write. Yes, fun! Here’s an excerpt from Chapter 7.

Trey had his first ear infection at ten weeks. The daycare called and said he had a hundred and one fever, was crying and batting at his left ear.

The doctor put him on Amoxicillin, the pink liquid antibiotic that smelled like Hubba Bubba bubble gum. It took two days before his constant crying stopped, and turned back into his usual almost-constant crying. You would have thought the kid would have shrunk up like a raisin from losing that much water content.

A coworker told me vacuuming soothed colicky babies, and as weird as it sounded, I was desperate and willing to try anything. By then, Charlie had ripped out all the awful split pea-colored green carpet that smelled vaguely of cat piss to reveal the hardwood floor underneath. In its place we put one Southwest patterned, dusty rose and blue rectangular throw rug under the family room coffee table we bought at Goodwill. I strapped Trey into his car seat, set it on the sofa and vacuumed the rug in an itty bitty rectangular pattern around the coffee table. Again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again. And again. Then again.

 Lo and freakin’ behold, it worked!

But, the moment I turned the damn thing off, he yowled. So, on it went, the steady hum of the machine soothed him better than I ever could. Sigh.

Years later, a friend asked why I didn’t just record the sound and play it for him on cassette tape rather than actually vacuum. For hours. Where was my friend when I was making myself dizzy going round and round that uber-clean carpet?

My mother and mother-in-law were deep sources of wisdom during this trying time.

Marlene, my mother-in-law: “He’s needs real food. Breastmilk is a liquid. Why don’t you open up the hole in the nipple of the bottle and put some mashed potatoes in there? You can always stir in some Campbell’s Cream of Chicken soup for flavor.”

My mother: “Give him some refried beans with a little chopped up carne asada mixed in. Mexicans have iron stomachs. Besides, breastfeeding is new-fangled northwest nonsense. Pretty soon you’ll stop shaving your legs.”

I didn’t dare tell her I’d stopped shaving my legs the day Trey was born. When did I have time for that? Come to think of it, I’d stopped shaving a month before that, because I couldn’t reach my legs with a belly the size of a VW Beetle.

Marlene: “Don’t get in the habit of letting him sleep in bed with you. Let him cry it out. Just leave a few Saltine crackers in the crib for when he’s hungry.”

My mother: “That Dr. Spock baby instructions book is doing you absolutely no good, and isn’t he the same fellow who plays the pointy-eared man in Star Wars? What does he know about babies? Your father wants you to give him some Pepto Bismol. And, I’ve been meaning to tell you, we think ‘Trey’ is an Oregon tree hugger made-up name. We’ll call him Juan.”

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One Response to Call Girl, Book #2, 1st Full Draft – Done!

  1. Elin Noble says:

    Diana,

    This is fabulous – just hilarious! I want to read more!!!!!

    Thank you for sharing the excerpt … and I can see the personalities even if you didn’t name the characters.

    Just chatted with Russ and my father and Russ says that you are feeling better and that the surgery has helped a lot. I am SOOOOH very relieved, and glad you are getting your mobility and life back.

    Sending much love!

    xoxox elin

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